Happy New Year
Helpers Ogiri
Okay, people... I guess we wish you all...
Congratulations on a Happy New Year!
Not that there's anything much happy about it.
And what the hell is with this?
Who comes up with this crap?
It ain't the Showa period anymore...
Note: The Showa period is 1937-1989
Now, now, Chuu-san...
It's New Year's and all, so...
Can I go home now?
I haven't even eaten any zouni or osechi...
Note: Zouni and osechi are foods traditionally eaten during New Year's
No, you can't!
Get over there and do your job!
Fine, then let's do this for real.
The topic is: "About the Sket Dance anime".
Me, me, me, me, me!
You there...
Saotome.
Hmm, let me think.
About worthy of a honorable mention for best new manga author!
And you say that because...?
*tehe*
They're both kouhyou!
Kouhyou = Well received
Kouhyou = Criticized
Hit me with another one!
Let's do our best!
Um, can we get away with something this laid back?
We've gotta do something, right?
Then, let's start the real show!
But we've gots the opening before that!
They know that!
Episode 39: One Broken, Special... New Year's
*paku*
An autumn of appetite...
It's still autumn during the actual show.
An autumn of literature (manga)...
An autumn of curses...
Crap! I lost again!
I've had enough of this game!
Why do I gotta lose to Bossun?!
It's something called "skill"! Skill!
Even though you're just a bug!
A bug?
Me, a bug?
All right! I'm gonna KO your ass!
I ain't gonna calm down otherwise!
Owww!
Switch, help!
What are you doing?
I was requested to repair this by Yamanobe-sensei.
While you two were playing around, I was completing his request.
Switch, you're awesome (sasuga switch).
Or shortened, Saswitch!
Seriously!
Good going Switch (eraize switch)!
Eroecchi!
You're just calling him a perv.
And that's not a shortening of anything.
But man, that game system's old.
It's Yamanobe-sensei's so it's gotta be something shady again.
I hear he got it from Master Wong.
Master Wong
Called it.
Oh, Switch-kun!
Sorry for asking you to handle this tricky job.
It has poor cooling systems.
If you use it for more than four hours straight, it will overheat and malfunction,
but if you are careful, it shouldn't be a problem.
Sensei, this game system smells fishy to me...
Yes, yes...
What the hell are you saying, Bossun-kun?!
It doesn't smell fishy, or meaty!
You've never heard of this?
Moving your arm like that just makes it even fishier.
Hmm, it looks familiar but...
Something is a little bit off.
Oh, something's written on it... "Family Compu..."
Note: The original Nintendo system was named the "Family Computer" = Famicon in Japan
Nope, this is the Fancy Yunpyouter!
What the hell is a yunpyouter?
This thing is totally a knock-off!
Yunpyou is a yunpyou!
The Hong Kong action star, Yunpyou!
And of course, I was told that it was Master Wong who taught him martial arts...
Accept the truth!
Yamanobe-sensei!
What is wrong with you guys?
When I was a child,
Received Directly
my Fancy Yunpyouter was my precious gaming system I got directly from Master Wong!
Is it really okay to have an HD LCD TV in this flashback?
Of course it's true that no other kids had one.
Youth
And I only had one game...
Yup, totally fishy.
The Fancy Yunpyouter was my youth!
Fanyun was my youth!
He said it a second time...
Fanyun's damn hard to say!
Sensei, did you bring that game you mentioned?
Of course, Switch-kun.
So that you could help me beat it.
Yes!
I love shitty games, after all.
Weirdo.
Well, it was a game that I played when I was a kid.
In the end, I was never able to beat it.
The ending is an extremely moving scene...
"Broken Special Mariko"
This is the game.
What the hell is that?!
"Broken Special Mariko"?!
What the hell kind of game is it?
It sure seems like an adult game to me!
It's a horizontal scrolling action game.
So, you're an action game, Mariko?!
Scrolling Action Game "Broken Special Mariko"
The game itself is aimed for a younger crowd,
but the back story has a dark, realistic bent to it.
A Suffering Love, An Unforgivable Love Affair
The main character Mariko has a "special" relationship with her boss,
This Love Will Continue Until I Am Broken...
and the great romance continues until her heart breaks!
No, no, no, no!
What the hell are they making kids play through?!
And the title's been written on by hand...
Oh, that?
The sticker came off so I wrote it myself.
Anyway, let's try it.
It might be more fun than we'd think.
I suppose so.
We got into Genesis and Hyperion in the end, too.
And it does seem to have a strange originality to it...
Wait a second!
Why did you blow hot air into it?
You just wanted to do that, didn't you?
Point of Advice
For your information:
"There is no point to blowing into a cartridge. In fact, it increases the chance of rusting."
That's the current accepted view.
Well, let's try playing!
Just ignoring him?!
So much for any originality!
So it's actually Special Mariko Broken?
That's a direct translation of the Japanese.
In that order?!
That's how I called it when I was in my Fanyun mania days...
That's just annoying!
What's with this game?
It's 100% a knock-off!
This is another nutty thing Master Wong created to screw with you!
No!
After all, the Master didn't have the ability to code games!
Um, but it says "Wontendo" right here...
It's him! Totally him!
Now, now... Why don't you try it first, Bossun-kun?
Why does it have to go like this?
Fine, then.
Game start!
It's started.
The music is a little... off.
Flap!
See, you died.
What the hell are you talking about?
Mariko comes falling down at the start.
If you don't make her flap to lower her speed on landing, she'll die.
Wait, wait, wait...
Isn't that Mariko right there?
Then who is the woman at the start with the brown hair?
She's Mariko's little sister, Luigiana.
She's on standby to see Mariko off at the start.
Like I said, this is annoying!
Okay, it's time for life number 2!
Flap!
Um, how do I flap?
She died.
That death jingle gets my goat.
How do you flap?
Huh? Why are you even asking me?
You press the G button rapidly, obviously!
G-G?
Look carefully at the controller.
Oh, ew!
That's a boatload of buttons!
The Fanyun has buttons A-U!
Who the hell would need all of those?
Wait. The more buttons, the better the value.
By the way, the direction pad isn't a plus sign, it's a tetromino!
This side's all minimalist?!
The down button is important, damn it!
Okay, life number 3!
G, G, G, G, G, G!
Yes, that's the way!
Sure, the way to piss me off.
Mariko usually just passes right on by Luigiana, doesn't she?
Luigiana is so totally superfluous...
Use the B button to jump!
And your speed increases while you hold down the C button.
In other words, it's a C dash...
Man, this is tough!
Whoa, the lag from hitting jump is crazy!
Terrible response!
That's because Mariko's movement is trying for realism.
Just that's enough to solidify the game's crappiness.
Try hitting the block that's a different color.
An item will come out.
That's a red eringi.
Red eringi?
Are you sure I should eat it?
Really?
Mariko got bigger after she ate it!
A power up?
No, a skill up!
Check out the status up top.
Manager
Huh?
Her job skills increased so she was promoted to manager!
Doesn't just seeing her job title change make you happy?
No, it doesn't!
This game really has a lot of pointless things in it.
There are a lot of other colored eringis.
Oh, try eating that blue eringi!
What stat did this one raise?
A career up!
She transferred to a high profile company,
but the only thing that's changed is the color of her uniform...
Even so, doesn't that make you happy?
I told you, no, it doesn't!
By the way, the green eringi...
Should I be eating that?
Crap, I ate it!
A 1-up?
No, 1cup!
By drinking this mysterious beverage, Mariko gets drunk instantly
and controlling her becomes more difficult!
Then don't have me grab it!
The yellow ones are hot compresses.
And should I...?
Oh, I ate it.
By putting that on, her stiff shoulders loosen up and she moves a little faster.
Whoa, she's even harder to control now!
This woman's hard to handle!
And then the super rare pink eringi...
Should I take it or not?!
Ack, I took it.
A give up!
Crap, I'm dead.
Don't make him take it then!
What the hell is this game?!
All Mariko's been doing so far is eating eringi!
What is this game trying to get us to do?
But, there's a lot to explain, see...
And in the first place, Master Wong...
Enough!
It's my turn!
You...
Look on! I'm good at these!
Flap!
I died...
Don't forget to flap!
This happens all the time!
No, no, no...
Will we ever escape from this infinite hell?
No crying until the ending!
This episode's a tearjerker or something?
Eek! What's with you people?!
Now is not the time or the place!
I see nothing!
Although... They're kind of cute...
Basically, it's good to just take the red eringi at the start.
Ignore the other eringi.
Tell us that earlier!
An enemy has shown up!
Where? Where?
H-Huh?
Man, all of a sudden it's changed to a dangerous-looking screen...
Is this really okay? I mean, seriously?
And is every little fight with an enemy going to be like this?
Who would have thought it'd be random encounter based?
I don't get it, but this seems like a pain.
How do you do this?
An eringi has appeared
Choose your action from the menu.
Please select "fight".
Sleep Smile and Say "Later" Have a Snack Lie Down
Why is "sleep" the default?!
Make "fight" the one at the top, damn it!
What a pa-
How am I supposed to go down without a friggin' down key?!
You have to press up until the commands loop around.
Then why is there a down arrow?
Tease Admonish Call Parents Snack in Secret
Pilfer Tease Admonish Call Parents
Lick Pilfer Tease Admonish
Lie Down Lick Pilfer Tease
Have a Snack Lie Down Lick Pilfer
And of course there are a crap ton of options!
Smile and Say "Later" Have a Snack Lie Down Lick
Sleep Smile and Say "Later" Have a Snack Lie Down
Relax Sleep Smile and Say "Later" Have a Snack
Look Up From Below Relax Sleep Smile and Say "Later"
Gaze Up at the Heavens Look Up From Below Relax Sleep
Butt In Gaze Up at the Heavens Look Up From Below Relax
Cover Ears Butt In Gaze Up at the Heavens Look Up From Below
Stick Out Tongue Cover Ears Butt In Gaze Up at the Heavens
Repress Your Feelings Stick Out Tongue Cover Ears Butt In
Stand Up Tall Repress Your Feelings Stick Out Tongue Cover Ears
Open Up Your Toes Stand Up Tall Repress Your Feelings Stick Out Tongue
There are 64 different commands.
Hey, hurry up or the eringi will attack!
God, this is annoying!
Get Down on Knees Run Fight End it Tomorrow
Ask For Work
Crap! I went one too far!
You idiot! You can only press down, so now you have to loop again...
64 times...
Crap, it's attacking!
The eringi attacks
And you're dead!
This game is pissing me off!
This seems like a job for me.
Ooh, Switch!
Looks like he couldn't crack them on his left...
There's no reason to try and look cool...
Switch-kun, stay calm!
I know you can do it!
Yes! That's flapping with no wasted movement!
And starting after teasing Luigiana a bit!
Yes!
You don't seem like this is your first time at all!
And you've taken all the eringis!
Switch-kun, you're one of those players who gets all the goodies!
And here comes an enemy!
He beat it quick!
Fast!
Man, his movements are so precise it's making me sick.
Worthy of the title "King of Shitty Games"!
"The Shit King", for short!
And down a pipe without hesitation!
But wait, how did he press a nonexistent down button?
Switch-kun, you are awesome!
To go down, you press the S and J keys,
along with pressing up and right at the same time!
Tell us that before!
And why is up-right the way to go down?
How is it that I can sense his liveliness just from his back...
Whoa! All of a sudden it's polygons!
The underground is 3D?
You can buy all the famous sweets from around the country in this department store basement.
Seriously, what is with this game?
Oh, try speaking with the woman in that store, Switch-kun.
It's a moe character wedged in for no reason!
Moeko: Oh, it's Mariko-mya!
Moeko: I quit the company and am working part time here now-mya!
So they used to work together?
And she says -mya...
Moeko: Try some of Nagoya's specialty, uirou-mya!
What's the matter?
You can't select any commands?
Calm down!
Look carefully at the controller!
Built-in microphone!?
A built-in mic? That's high tech!
That's premature of you to think...
Actually...
It's not a mic?!
Ew! Ew!
It's built-in uirou!
Now, try eating it!
You need nutrition to keep up your concentration when playing for long periods of time!
Back in the day, I'd often...
Hell if we're eating this!
It's long gone bad!
And it's so gross!
Oh, it went back!
And furthermore, he's progressing at an incredible pace!
Like, wow...
Seriously, wow...
L-Let me play!
Me, too!
And so, the Sket-dan, having gotten completely absorbed in the game,
passed through countless challenges using their teamwork,
and finally headed toward a showdown with the final boss, General Manager Kamei.
Kamei: I love you, Mariko.
Mariko: Stop this! At this rate, my heart will break!
Oh, it's so deeply emotional...
I was never able to get this far.
I never would have thought the graphics would be this good.
This game is an incredible masterpiece!
Honorary President
Mariko's managed to move all the way up to an Honorary President!
Just from her job title, a general manager should be a pushover,
so it's unfortunate that it has no bearing on the game.
But how are we supposed to beat this guy?
We haven't been able to win at all!
It seems like no matter how much you attack, Mariko's feelings
cause her to hold back and not use her full power.
We tried all the monster summons, but none had any effect.
We've collected all the weapons and spells, too.
We're out of options!
The general manager is just too strong!
Wait...
There's got to be a way!
Crap, I died again!
We only have one life left!
It's our final life, but there's no way we can win!
I-I see!
L-Let me have that!
What are you doing?
There!
Where?
Right here...
...we use Luigiana!
Talk
Ooh, it's gone to a cut scene!
Finally, sister, we can speak seriously about this.
She's talking!
And they hired a popular voice actress!
The graphics aren't half-bad, either!
Even though it's a ROM cartridge!
I'm sorry...
I was wrong.
If I had listened to your warnings, Luigiana...
That's why I told you to be careful of that man.
Honestly...
I suppose I have no choice.
Here... I'll help you out, my twin sister!
Luigiana!
Let's defeat the General Manager together!
Yes! It's a combination attack!
Can't get enough!
I just cannot get me enough!
And Luigiana's actually a twin sister!
Hidden secrets of their birth... Those kinds of things always get to me!
But man, Master Wong sure loves the clichéd "twin" development.
Let's go, Sis!
Yeah!
Unison attack!
Mariko!
I loved you!
Yes!
We beat it!
Yes! Now we can see the ending!
It was so hard!
We must have been playing for four hours straight!
Four hours?!
Yes?
Overheat!
It broke... Our special...
...Mariko!
It's the Clubroom Talk Corner!
Yo! And a happy New Year to everyone, yet again!
Man, getting all topical now that the main episode's over is a pain.
So, this is our first corner of the new year.
Our first topic will be...
Prince...
Happy New Year
I'll help!
Ta-da!
Let's all play a board game, just like a typical New Year's!
Uh, what does that kanji mean?
I've never seen it before.
*ehen*
It's an original kanji I thought up myself!
If you must say it aloud:
****
I tried to express a way of life that's so hard, it's difficult to put into words!
That's kind of... grim, for New Year's.
Now, Prince, spin the wheel!
S-Sure...
Um... One, two, three... Here?
Change jobs?
But we just started.
And, continuing...
You can only choose between high school teacher and children's television show personality.
Oh, I've seen these shots before.
Wait, don't tell me...
I knew it.
Yes! It's a little clip show!
Oh, I see.
I guess everyone wants to take it a bit easy during New Year's.
Yes!
Although it's true that the staff didn't actually make this episode over New Year's.
The storyboards were done in October and the ADR was in...
Hey, Roman, stop fooling around!
Oh, this is the Bakuman collaboration episode that I wasn't in for some reason!
Hey, why didn't you call for me, Prince?
Ask Kawaguchi about that...
I also apologize!
Shinzou!
Shinzou! Now that I think about it, it's been quite a while...
Hahaha! What might you be talking about?
'Tis my turn, is it not?
Extra in a period play.
No pay, but at least you get a part.
Uh... This must mean...
I knew it.
Oh, looking at all this, quite a lot hath happened this past year...
...while I wasn't around.
Yes, but...
The answer is... 100 animals!
No, no, no...
Don't go sticking in fake scenes!
Clubs are... fun!
You can make lots of... friends!
Friends with people... And friends that aren't people...
Hey!
And there you have it.
A lot of stuff happened last year, but...
Best wishes for this year!
Sukebito Dansu
Thank you all very much!
T-Thanks!
Happy New Year
Stakeout. In Japanese, it's harikomi.
If we stake this place out, we should be able to catch the guy.
I ain't gonna let this guy shake people down!
Ain't gonna let him!
...hey!
Tsubaki, what the hell are you doing here?
That's my line!
Hey, Switch... Isn't this gonna end up like...
Will we even have a role?
Next time: Stakeout Blues.
Take this: Tsubaki Explosion!
Go: Fujisaki Valencia!
We're...
...Sket Dance!